Wedding Edition! Dedicated to Becca

My cousin Rebecca is getting married in less than a week. She is the only daughter, and baby, to my Uncle Richard and Aunt Lynn. As you can imagine, they will be throwing her a “Big Fat Lebanese Wedding.” Every aunt and uncle (including a great aunt, clad with 10 rosaries, on a walker) and every cousin (including second and third cousins, available for inter-marriage according to the aforementioned great aunt) will be there.

Except me.

Nevertheless, I’m doing my part to get into the wedding spirit across the world: I attended a Malian wedding. From my African marriage experience, I want to pass along a few pointers to my dear cousin Rebecca:

1. Your new husband (in your case, John Bobby) does not need to be present at the reception. After the small “official” ceremony in the morning, the celebration in Mali does not include the husband. How convenient! Becca would be free to eat all the cake she wanted to, without getting it rubbed into her face!
2. No males need to be present at all, in fact. Except for the musicians and a few key dancers, males are nowhere to be seen in Mali on the wedding day. Win-win situation: ESPN for the dudes, and more cake for the females (I love wedding cake).
3. You can serve food in communal bowls without utensils. That will definitely save mom and dad some serious moola. Forget buffet lines and fine china, all you need is a bowl of rice with a few chunks of meat, and some soap and water to wash that right hand! Also would make cake-eating a lot more fun.
4. Your eyebrows must be painted in a radiant color at least 3 inches long each. There were purples, golds, thick black eyebrows that reached the ears, and even multi-colored brows at this wedding I attended. Being raised by a 100% Lebanese woman, Penny Tanory, I know the importance of a well-shaped brow. Before she became the real-estate guru “Worth Every Penny,” my mother had three priorities in every-day life: a) child-rearing, b) cooking pork chops and mashed potatoes for Jim McGehee, c) eyebrow upkeep. Rebecca can agree that although diluted, our Middle Eastern blood makes tweezers our most prized possession. In Mali, it seems as though the eyebrow paintbrush holds this same importance.
5. No need to have a music playlist, one song will suffice. While it had some variations to it, I’m pretty sure the musicians at the wedding played the same melody the entire time. Hours of the same song meant hours of the same dancing, which was basically all of the women trotting in a small circle. How could this be seen as a positive for a wedding state-side? Simple dance moves = not as tough on your poor feet decked in 4-inch designer heels.

There were some notable similarities between the two wedding styles. Mali has your typical “money dance," although it includes money dancing for the bridal party and family ($core!). A few guys (a rarity) also appeared for a brief dancing cameo, and really gave it all they had on the dance floor. Similarly, I know my Uncle Richard will be stealing the dance floor for a few minutes with his rendition of “the worm," which I would imagine these days is more like “the slug” (sorry, Cheech!)

This Malian “wedding,” without the husband or any males, was quite an interesting experience. But at a family wedding done in this same manner, I’d miss the fellas too much. Who would want to miss Becca being roasted by her two brothers' toasts on the “zabada” or asking everyone to “telle hassa teezee?”

I wouldn’t, even though I will, but that’s no matter -- Becca told me she’d ship a piece of cake to Africa. That should more than make up for missing a wedding that includes men and properly plucked (rather than painted) eyebrows!

FÉLICITATIONS Rebecca and John! I'm so happy for you two!

THE MALIAN WEDDING:

(my camera lost all picture-taking capabilities, I can only take videos...enjoy!)

*Note: just posted the English version of the video I made for Keneya Ciwara: lizinmali.blogspot.com*